Run away

NS took away most of my time &freedom,

making me so tired every single day. but I m trying to cope with the stress I face as well as fighting with the fatigue that training left me with. I m learning and trying to be a good guy and to understand the ppl around me. I wish someone could understand me and cheer me up when I m down.. haha.. it'd b a forbidden one. I don't have much time for myself, beloved,my family, friends. as a human sometime, when I m in something esp NS , I tend to only see my own sufferings and sacrifices & forget about everyone else who also love and cares about me. 
most of my book out day, go straight home and spend the time with the computer and iPhone . either sleeping or watching movies, playing game or doing sth else or go to church alone. 
sometime feel lonely.. even can't pray, can't read the bible. and felt resentment my own. ummm some ppl run away from me so far. even never give me a chance to try again.
all my resentment turned out into a poem. but My God never run a way from me. even He is chasing after me. finally i found out the problem. i am the problem my own.I only one run way from Him and ppl who love and cares about me :) :(